The First And Last Official Mock Draft Mock Draft™


Well folks, it's that time of year. There's only one thing on everyone's mind and that is, of course, COVID-19. But people are doing their best to distract themselves and keep their spirits up - so everyone is of course bursting with anticipation for TFALOMDMD. 

The league has been buzzing with excitement ever since the release of the first couple of mock drafts about a month ago. K-2 and Quickball got the world drooling for more as they dropped their MDs one after the other. All of a sudden rookies everywhere started to panic. FCB GMs everywhere had their hands full with anxious players wondering WHY their fates were sealed at such an early stage - don't worry, they were all told in unison, there will be more to come. Since then we've seen 19 additional Mock Drafts (as of 3/28 at 7pm EST) and they've all been just as Mocked and Drafted as the other. 

But Dermot, how can you do a mock draft of a mock draft? Who would draft a mock draft? Are you just mocking the concept of a mock draft by drafting it? Isn't this more like a power ranking for mock drafts since you don't actually have any teams drafting a draft? The answer to all of those questions is watch me, wouldn't you, yes, shut up. 

*DISCLAIMER* - None of these rankings are meant as a slight or a jab at anyone's mocks, all mocks are created equal but I just like some more than others. Most of these have nothing to do with where I/UNC players were ranked. This also doesn't quantify how I feel about any particular team, player, GM, historical person, entity, dataset or sexual preference. Mock Drafts exist on a spectrum.

(Jayy, here. Each header is a link, the formatting of the site is a little odd with links.)

21. Zelk's Grocery List 

We all know Zelk is an integral part of this sport. He's helpful, present and generally seems like a good egg person. But, like, come on. This is just a crudely made word document with bullet points. Every player falls under the category of "a.", which, I guess is good because it's better than "b.", but you know what I mean. 

20. Guido's Crazy Hypothetical

This mock was built using Matt Himynamis' aesthetically pleasing layout but hinges on a very uninteresting hypothetical universe where Pork Torkleton goes second and Hunter Scott goes third. Call me crazy, or actually please don't that's offensive, but I do not find this reasonable grounds to build an entire Mock Draft around. 

19. Cali's Firstborn 

Listen, this isn't a bad mock draft. I'm not mocking it. I just think it's a bit..simple. The index on the left hand side shows you schools but not players and player positions but not DRAFT positions. It's just missing a few key elements. Bonus points of the humility of omitting self (despite being a surefire early round pick) and giving space for honorable mentions. 

18. Eggman's Egg

I really appreciate commitment to a bit, I really do. The egg puns in here, well, they're not that bad. Fouss missed a couple golden opportunities (why not Tampa Bay Deviled Eggs? Oakland Athleteggs kinda rolls off the tongue better) but overall I've gotta commend him for sticking with what he knows. Also, he failed to differentiate between the two NC schools, which, if you ask me, is a bit eggcessive. 

17. Guido's 2nd or 4th 

Nothing really that positive or negative here - there's a lot of personal touch to this mock which is nice but also holds it back from being mocked any higher. It's just a bit of a headache to read. Also, what really threw me for a loop is that I think Guido was/is editing it as I am looking at it (which feels kind of naughty on my part). Bonus points for including what the teams need and for what other selections could be made in each slot.

16. Josh and/or Hamilton's "1st of Many" 

Again, nothing that wrong with this MD. It's also just a bit lacking in substance. The picks are all there, but there's no real substance. We want to know your rationale! Players want to read about themselves, we're all narcissists! This is why my MD of MDs will probably be the most fun for those who have Mocked Drafts already. The only personal touch here is making a note of Late Train's 80 grade name game (I wholeheartedly agree). 

15. Kyle's Unexplained Grid 

This MD fulfills all the necessary components needed for it to qualify as a Mock Draft. But, as Kyle himself asserts, he "will not be giving any explanation for [his] selections". At least he made a grid. 

14. Cali Remits Himself 

Very similar to his first draft, except now he's in it. And he's in it in a pretty respectable slot (#3). What happened to the modesty? Well, regardless, it felt a bit more realistic. I think part of mocking a draft is being able to mock yourself wherever you want. I think any person should be able to mock themselves wherever they want, whenever they want with whomever they want as long as all parties consent. Still, no numbers for draft positions and that silly contents thing on the left keep this Mock from the top ten. 

13. RoboDraft 6000 Makes Our Jobs Obsolete

This Mock is pleasing to the eye, I especially like the inclusion of the team colors. But it was created by a robot and that scares the hell out of me. What's next? We just watch RNGs face each other because we're too lazy to come up with swings and pitches? I don't think so. I, for one, enjoy the human element of this sport and I won't budge on that. 

12. Zack Mouse's Markel Draft 

Yes, it's true that this also what I would consider a "simple" draft. But the artist formerly known as Zack Markel went for it and made it personal. Truck Month #1 overall? Most of Nebraska at #26? It's crazy. So crazy that it might just work. 

11. Guido's OG Mockerino 

Guido is definitely the most active rookie on the Mock scene - whether he's mocked three or four drafts is yet to be seen but either way I respect what he's doing. I think his first was his best. What it lacks in flash it makes up for in personal touch and tidiness. While some Mock Draft Mock Draft experts might be grumbling about this pick, I see it more as an honorary lifetime achievement award for Guido and his dedication to mocking. Grazzie, Guido

10. Kyle's (Explained) Draft 

This is one of my favorites. It's thorough, it's well written, it's subjective in the best of ways. It's got the best possible version of the left hand column (take notes, Cali). This was released pretty early on in the game and remains one of the standout mocks. Hats off, Mr. Corbett.

9. Quickball's Quick Mock 

It is exactly what we thought it was. The second ever Mock Draft of FCB season 5 had everybody's insides churning. It left you wanting more. Is it realistic? Fuck no. Is it thorough? No. Sweet on the eyes? Definitely not. It's quick, it's funny, it's got a bad boy attitude and it's daring you to do something about it. 

8. Jay's Second Draft

7. Jay's First Draft 

I ranked these back to back because they're very similar in terms of design. They're pretty, they're extremely thorough, and they're everything a Mock Draft should dream to be the day they are born. The team logos, the fonts, there's just nothing wrong with this mock. EXCEPT it's too short and each of Jay's first two drafts only offered explanations through 15 picks - if that's not a mocktease I don't know what is.

6. Rian's Rapposheet 

A very professional mock, unsurprisingly. Detailed pick explanations, a vague anti-GT bias, what's not to like? This was also the fourth released mock after much anticipation. Could this be why Steve Robs changed their name? No one will ever know.

5. K-2's A-1 Mock 

Yes, it's not the prettiest. Or the most verbose. But it was FIRST. I still remember reading seeing this pop up in the newsroom and feeling my heart rate go up. To be honest it just kind of added a whole new layer to my appreciation for this discord (it had my name on it! It was UNC heavy), and for that, it cracks the top five. 

4. Jay's 4th Draft 

*italian hand gestures* 

It's the model for all Mocks. It's what will inspire budding mockers to write the next "To Kill a Mockdraftingbird". It will be read and mocked for generations to come. It's not top because the explanations stop at #20. Come on! 

3. Streetlamp's Gamechanger 

You want thorough? LeMoose is LeThorough. 3 rounds, 96 names. Doesn't matter if it might not be the most accurate, it's got 96 names on it - it reached 96 hearts. No other draft did that. The ripple effect is that more players feel seen and heard and taken seriously, what's not to love about that?

2. Jay's Symphony in 3 

I've said most of what I have to say about Jay, the reason his third is considered his finest wine is that it has full explanations and logos for 36 players, with another 30 accounted for as well. Jayyburd is the go to source for Mock Drafts if you're looking for a good mock. For me, this is the cream of the crop, the '82 Chateauneuf Du Pape. 

1. Nori's Masterpiece

I've parsed through this mock maybe thirty times, I still catch a new bit of data on every experience. It has everything you want! Drama, sleepers, a surprise at almost every pick. But, the more you read it the more it makes sense. 186 picks of brilliance. I almost didn't bother ranking this one since it was such a given. 

Thanks for reading everyone, it's been my pleasure to write about what I am truly passionate about. Catch you in the next mock!  

Written by Dermot Mulveiny

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